Reflections on anniversaries

Today I worked through a cataloging procedure that my former director did nearly exactly one year ago. I know this because her initials and timestamp are on the records. She updated VTDNP MARC records last year on Feb. 14, 2014. Now here I am updating practically the same records on Feb. 12, 2015. What’s hitting me hard is that Birdie passed away nearly a month later on Mar. 10, 2014. I like to think that she worked on these records on Valentines Day because she loved newspapers so much.

I haven’t really shared my thoughts about how her passing has affected me, our department, our library. I know that’s why this blog┬áhas been silent for the past year. But with the first anniversary less than a month away, it’s hard not to think about how much has changed…and how much is still very much the same.

Special Collections purchased a book in honor of Birdie. I had the honor of cataloging it, and took some liberties with a local 590 note. I’m really thankful I got to do that.

I don’t really want to get into how Birdie was a great librarian, boss, person, etc…I’ve said all that at her funeral and memorial events. But for those of you who knew her, you know that she was great and it’s been a huge loss to the cataloging community. I am so thankful that ALCTS passed a memorial resolution.

Attending conferences for the past year has been awkward. People take one look at my badge, see where I’m from, and the look of sadness in their eyes just breaks me apart. I had one person think that I was Birdie’s replacement and said so to my face. That hurt. I want to thank @slmcdanold for the most real response at #ALAMW15 last month. Sometimes you just need a hug.

I’m thankful that she hired me, trained me, and I got to work with her for 2 short years. Perhaps you saw that we were hiring a Serials and Digital Access Metadata Librarian position? I got to chair the search committee and disappear into that work for 5 months. It nearly broke me. But I got through it and I’m stronger because of it.

As the anniversary date approaches I remind myself that it’s OK to be sad, but remember to be thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned this year. Just how much I’ve grown as a cataloger, manager, leader, and person. Her memory lives on through me, her colleagues, friends, and family. I hold on to that thought and breathe. just breathe.

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